An Online Magazine in the Reality-Based Community.

Empty letter from the Empty Wig

Tuesday, August 16, 2005


Before/after: Surgically preserved Elizabeth Dole (a.k.a. "Empty Wig", "Sugar Lips" or "The Joker").

All you legislators out there... this is a lesson in how you should not run constituent services. I write my elected officials from time to time, and I usually get a polite, if somewhat impersonal response.

The exception, of course, was Jesse Helms. I've mentioned before here that his office excelled in constituent services. Letters were responded to promptly and with specificity to your concern (even if you didn't agree with him).

I can't say the same for The Empty Wig, Sen. Elizabeth Dole.

I wish I could tell you what letter of mine she is responding to here, but this letter is so damn idiotic and vague. I think my last missive was to ask her for a comment on the three cross burnings in Durham a few months ago, but who can f*cking tell from this Liddy Letter -- it was shot straight out of the "Constituent Services Letter GeneratorTM (text is below, click to enlarge the letter).


Thank you so much for taking time to write to me with your concerns. Receiving your ideas and concerns is so important in order for me to represent you, and our state, to the best of my ability in the United States Senate.

The issues you describe are indeed important and deserve review. I very much appreciate you sharing your opinions and thoughts with me regarding these matters. Please be assured that I will keep your insights in mind should pertinent legislation be considered by the Senate.

Thank you again for taking the time to share your ideas and concerns. If I can be of further assistance, please do not hesitate to contact me.

With my warmest best wishes,
Elizabeth Dole
Can you believe this? It's embarrassing. Her office should have saved the taxpayer funds and just not bothered answering. This blow-off is disrespectful to a voter in this state, and makes her look bad (well, even worse than she already looks, carrying water for Chimpy and the National Repug Senatorial Committee).

With homophobe, racist Helms, he realized his power to be re-elected was gained by fulfilling his state's needs and communicating effectively on a personal level. That level of communication, infused with southern gentility, goes over well here, and will continue to do so.

Dole, a Salisbury native, needs to get back in touch with some Southern manners and teach it to her staff. [A staff, by the way, that must be packed with queers if she called a staff meeting to tell folks that none would be fired if they were outed.]

Dems, please mount a decent candidate to toss this figurehead out.