Homeland insecurity 2.0

Hi folks, we're back in town after a short trip to Birmingham to our niece's baptism, which was lovely. Nothing like one of those fly-in, fly-out visits. Not enough time to see everyone (sorry Kathy, catch you next time), and just back in time to go back to work. Bleh. And how on earth did I manage to receive over non-spam 200 emails in just over 48 hours? Sigh, mailbag duty...

Anyway, I thought I'd toss up a post describing a few observations about this trip under our new Orange Alert^TM fluid/gel ban.

Planning ahead, we packed everything liquid/gel/questionable in our bag that we were going to check in. I had my prescription meds in their original bottles and put them all in a Ziploc bag and had that in my carry-on.

We decided to give ourselves two hours to get to park and ride at RDU, shuttle over and check in, since we always assume brain dead folks will have arrived ahead of us, completely unaware of the restrictions and hold up everything. We get in line at US Airways, and there is a sizeable line to wait for a self-check-in kiosk. We were correct in that brain-dead people made in in there first, and it had nothing to do with security. Apparently two people in the line ahead of us were sheeple who needed to be led by airline personnel to empty kiosks awaiting passengers. One of the US Airways people said to step up that there were two available and these folks still didn't move, so we were around them. Last I looked they were staring blankly into space as we checked in.

That seemed like a bad omen. We see lots of signs posted about the alert and banned items.

So we proceed to the security area after getting our boarding passes. and we have our boarding passes/IDs checked twice before having to take off shoes and place the carry on bags on the conveyor belt. Both my bag and sandals are picked for further inspection. The TSA agent does the little swab test on the sandals and hands those back; another agent opens my bag and pulls out the medicines, all the while telling me something to the effect that "you know we have to do this monkey business; I'm glad you have this all in the original packaging, it makes it a lot easier." He waves over to another guy, I guess the official "fluids and meds" superior, who gives the thumbs-up. I am on my way. Kate, who flew through her line, waits for me.

This all went pretty quickly so we had to sit around at the gate for an hour and change before boarding. We're sitting and gabbing and as it gets closer to boarding time, the PA system comes on and they start bleating about all the banned liquids and gels -- all banned items will be confiscated, we are warned. Anything purchased to drink or eat has to be thrown away before anyone can board the plane, "including ice cream," the voice booms.

The cone of mass destruction...

Eventually we board and settle in. We're waiting to close up and take off and a couple of late arrival passengers get on. Here comes some dude down the aisle with an open bottle of Mountain Dew, right there in his hand! He had to have gotten by not only the gate attendant, but the flight attendants on the plane. Jeezus. Of course everyone knows this is no threat (he's obviously drinking it, not using it to mix an explosive), but what is the point of this increased security if it's such a obvious sham that even the airlines aren't really paying attention to it, at least on this flight. People on the plane are laughing out loud.

We changed planes in Charlotte and didn't notice anything like this on the second leg.

Coming home, my same carry-on with the same contents, along with the same sandals, weren't screened beyond the x-ray machine everyone's stuff goes through. Once we made it to the gate, we didn't wait too long (we got to the airport about an hour and change before flight time).

Again, the PA came on, this time it was for another flight -- on Continental -- that was boarding. This announcer, I'm not kidding you, went on for about 2-3 minutes warning people about taking on liquids and gels ("liquid" chapstick is a no-no, solid is OK), no coffee or soda will make it on board. Random checks at the gate would be performed. If they find contraband on you, you will be asked to give it up. If you don't give it up, you'll not be able to board, he boomed, and you would have to go on a later flight. "Not later today," he warned, "maybe not even this week...maybe not for a couple of weeks." OK, at this point, people are laughing, including the two of us. This is ludicrous.

Our flight is finally called and we board. The plane is about to close up and a couple of late arrivals get on. This time we have a woman taking her sweet time, coming down the aisle with a steaming hot cup of Cinnabon coffee, which she proceeds to balance on an armrest as she casually loads her bag in the overhead bin, blocking the aisle as a couple of people wait behind her.

Clearly, my friends, US Airways has let on the Cinnabomber.

I'm sorry, if people are going to be asked/threatened to check all of their liquid items and throw out beverages and food at the gate, then apply the rules consistently or deep-six these bogus policies that clearly aren't being enforced anyway.