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Roadkill sickness in Minnesota

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Nothing like a helping of Roadside America, only I don't think healthy minds think about a healthy helping of man-on-deer sex when you're traveling through Duluth, MN.

Superior, Wisconsin resident Bryan James Hathaway has an inventive public defender. Fredric Anderson, argued that the charge of "sexual gratification with an animal" should be dismissed because the deer was dead, so it was no longer by law "an animal."
"The statute does not prohibit one from having sex with a carcass," Anderson wrote.

The Webster's dictionary defines "animal" as "any of a kingdom of living beings," Anderson said.

If you include carcasses in that definition, he said, "you really go down a slippery slope with absurd results."

Anderson argued: When does a turkey cease to be an animal? When it is dead?

When it is wrapped in plastic packaging in the freezer? When it is served, fully cooked?

A judge should decide what the Legislature intended "animal" to mean in the statute, he said. "And the only clear point to draw the line in that definition, I believe, is the point of death."
He continues the legal gymnastics by claiming that the statute, which is under the umbrella of "crimes against sexual morality," was meant to protect animals, so this case simply doesn't apply if the carcass is no longer an "animal."

BTW, if Hathaway goes to the pokey on this one, it won't be the first time he was caught with his pants down engaging in sick behavior.
In April 2005, Hathaway pleaded no contest to one felony charge of mistreatment of an animal for the shooting death of Bambrick, a 26-year-old horse, to have sex with the animal.
Add it to the list of these cases of unbelievable animal abuse occurring in our Great "Christian" NationTM.

* A man in Tacoma, Washington accused of having sex with the family dog -- with the acts videotaped by wife.
* Michigan State Police troopers charged a Saginaw man after he was seen engaging in sexual acts with a dead dog.
* A man in Bainbridge, GA jumps a fence at a stockyard and porks a hog
* A Mesa, AZ fire battalion chief caught with his pants down in a barn assaulting a lamb
* A St. Gabriel, Louisiana seventeen-year-old was caught on tape committing unnatural acts with a horse.

Hat tip goes to Coturnix, who passed on this quaint bit of business in the comments of another thread.